I’m laying in the bed cold, feeling like I should have ended my life if I am going to go through this. But the only thing I am thinking about is WHY DID SHE CALL THE COPS why couldn’t I just get some peace at home.
What did she say that the doctors think I deserve this. Well, I am glad you got what you wanted, me laying in this hard bed with a nightgown that doesn’t even cover my whole body. I already feel insecure about myself, now I have to share this big room with 10 other people I don’t even know. Security is not out here 24/7 so the men can just walk around to the female side.
I’m nervous
I’m terrified
I don’t feel safe.
How is this helping someone mentally?
All this is doing is making me feel worst inside. And I already feel alone in a state that I don’t feel like I belong. With blood relatives that I can’t even call on if I need anything.
Friends — yea right they are the ones that put me here.
I’m in my head thinking over and over like, how can I get out of here. I don’t belong. Then two nurses came over in the middle of the night to talk to me and ask me if I am ok. I honestly said NO! with tears coming down my eyes like I don’t think I belong here.
When can I go home?
They told me after the doctor looks you over and approve you to leave. I was like good but I am blindsided by the comments that were left at the check-in.
You posted something on social media saying you were going to kill yourself. I looked like no I didn’t. Nothing I said on my post stated anything about I want to end my life. If I wanted to do it I would have done it already.
A voice inside saying “shut up – all they are going to do is twist your words”
Well the doctor came out and said your friend was worried about you and place you here for help. I told them my background and where I am from and I stay alone and have so many responsibilities I need to take care of. They heard my story and said that doesn’t mean anything, “the most successful people in the world can still be stressed or mentally unstable and end up killing themselves”
Well, I told them I can have a reference that I trust and talk to you to tell you about how I am as an individual. I am thinking this would help me get out quicker. And after their conversation they just told me thanks for your reference we will evaluate everything and let you know.
• They evaluated my behavior while being in the hospital compared to the others
• They evaluated my behavior with the police
• They evaluated my responses to their answers
• Took my references
• Looked at the statement that was left at the front desk when I checked in
Two out of five things I have control over, so it’s all down to people that don’t know much about me or even came over to visit me on a daily.
Final Verdict
We looked over everything and we are going to transfer you to a different hospital that will be able to help you through your situation. There are mental professionals that will work with you and look you over to make sure you are good to go.
My head is down and I feel defeated like there is no hope for me. Why is God doing this to me, why am I going through this?
There were a few comments that we highlighted for the next doctors to take a look at
May I ask what they are
• You were going to kill yourself or in danger to harm yourself
• You don’t keep up with your health physically
• Posting hurtful things on social media that would alert multiple eyes to see
We will let you know when you are transferred to the next facility, in the meanwhile get ready for lunch
“Can I make a phone call first”
Security: NO! the phone is off while we are eating take a seat in your bed, don’t let me say it twice.
“Why are you talking to me like that”
Security: Sit down, I am being nice, don’t let me get angry
I took a deep breath, and just starred at the security guard while my bunkmate is just drooling like she was helpless. I went to the bathroom and cried on the floor until lunch was over, well that was the plan.
Security: That’s enough time in there, saying my name wrong — Total disrespect while banging on the door
Then forced me to my bed and stood over me asking me to eat and I refused, there wasn’t anything appetizing for me to eat.
I asked nicely can I get some room, I am not feeling well right now.
The 2nd shift guard came in a told him, you don’t have to worry about her she isn’t like the others, let her process everything she just found out she was staying in here longer.
I said thank you and tried to eat this frozen PB&J
I need to get some different socks
Meaning Behind Your Smile 